譯自奧修書“The Book of Secrets”第2章第3個問題
Excerpt from OSHO’s book“The Book of Secrets”, Chapter2 Question3
2 October 1972 pm in Woodlands, Bombay
WHAT ARE THE EXACT INDICATIONS TO KNOW THAT THE PARTICULAR TECHNIQUE ONE IS PRACTISING WILL LEAD TO THE ULTIMATE?
There are indications. One, you begin to feel a different identity within you. You are no more the same. If the technique fits you, immediately you are a different person. If you are a husband, you are no more the same husband. If you are a shopkeeper, you are never again the same shopkeeper. Whatsoever you are, if the technique fits you, you are a different person; that is the first indication. So if you begin to feel strange about yourself, know that something is happening to you. If you remain the same and do not feel any strangeness, nothing is happening. This is the first indication of whether a technique fits you. If it fits, immediately you are transported, transformed into a different person. Suddenly this happens: you look at the world in a different way. The eyes are the same, but the looker behind them is different.
Secondly, all that creates tensions, conflicts, starts dropping. It is not that when you have practiced the method for years, then your conflicts, anxieties, tensions will drop—no! If the method fits you, immediately they start dropping. You can feel an aliveness coming to you; you are being unburdened. You will begin to feel, if the technique fits you, that gravity has become reversed. Now the earth is not pulling you down. Rather, the sky is pulling you up. How do you feel when an airplane takes off? Everything is disturbed. Suddenly there is a jerk, and gravity becomes meaningless. Now the earth is not pulling you, you are going away from gravity.
The same jerk happens if a meditative technique fits you. Suddenly you take off. Suddenly you feel the earth has become meaningless; there is no gravity. It is not pulling you down, you are being pulled up. In religious terminology, this is called “grace”. There are two forces—gravity and grace. Grace means you are being pulled upwards; gravity means you are being pulled downwards.
That is why in meditation many people suddenly feel they have no weight. That is why many people feel an inner levitation. So many have reported this to me when the technique fits them: “This is strange! We close our eyes and we feel that we are a little bit above the earth—one foot, two feet, even four feet above the earth. When we open our eyes we are just on the ground; when we close our eyes we have levitated. So what is this? When we open our eyes we are just on the ground! We never levitated.”
The body remains on the ground, but you levitate. This levitation is really a pull from the above. If the technique fits you have been pulled, because the working of the technique is to make available for you the upward pull. This is what the technique means: to make you available for the force which can pull you up. So if it fits, you know—you have become weightless.
Thirdly, whatsoever you will now do, whatsoever, howsoever trivial, will be different. You will walk in a different way, you will sit in a different way, you will eat in a different way. Everything will be different. This difference you will feel everywhere. Sometimes this strange experience of being different creates fear. One wants again to go back and be the same, because one was so attuned with the old. It was a routine world, even boring, but you were efficient in it.
Now everywhere you will feel a gap. You will feel that your efficiency is lost. You will feel that your utility is reduced. You will feel that everywhere you are an outsider. One has to pass through this period. You will become attuned again. You have changed, not the world, so you will not fit. So remember the third thing: When the technique fits you, you will not fit into the world. You will become unfit. Everywhere something is loose, some bolt is missing. Everywhere you will feel that there has been an earthquake. And everything has remained the same; only you, you, have become different. But you will be attuned again on a different plane, on a higher plane.
The disturbance is felt just like when a child grows and becomes sexually mature. At the age of fourteen or fifteen every boy feels that he has become strange. A new force has entered—sex. It was not there before, or it was, but it was hidden. Now for the first time he has become available for a new kind of force. That is why boys are very awkward; girls, boys, when they become sexually mature, they are very awkward. They are nowhere. They are no longer children and they are not yet men, so they are in between, fitting nowhere. If they play with small children they feel awkward—they have become men. If they start making friendships with men they feel awkward—they are still children. They fit with no one.
The same phenomenon happens when a technique fits you. A new energy source becomes available that is greater than sex. You are again in a transitory period. Now you cannot fit in this world of worldly men. You are not a child, and you cannot yet fit in the world of saints; and in between one feels awkward.
If a technique fits you these three things will come up. You may not have expected that I would say these things. You may have expected that I would say you will become more silent, more quiet, and I am saying quite the contrary: you will become more disturbed. When the technique fits you will become more disturbed, not more silent. Silence will come later on. And if silence comes and not disturbance, know well that this is not a technique; this is just getting adjusted to the old pattern.
That is why more people go for a prayer than for meditation because prayer gives you a consolation. It fits you, adjusts to you, to your world. Prayer was doing virtually the same thing that psychoanalysts are now doing. If you are disturbed they will make you less disturbed, adjusted to the pattern, to the society, to the family. So by going to a psychoanalyst for one, two or three years you will not get better, but you will be more adjusted. Prayer does the same thing, and priests do the same thing—they make you more adjusted.
Your child has died and you are disturbed, and you go to a priest. He says, “Do not be disturbed. Only those children die early whom God loves more. He calls them up.” You feel satisfied. Your child has been “called up.” God loves him more. Or the priest says something else: “Do not be worried, the soul never dies. Your child is in heaven.”
One woman was here just a few days before. Her husband had died just during the past month. She was disturbed. She came to me and she said, “Only assure me that he is reborn in a good place and then everything will be okay. Just give me a certainty that he has not gone to hell or he has not become an animal, that he is in heaven or he has become a god or some such thing. If you can just assure me of this, then everything is okay. Then I can bear it; otherwise I am miserable.”
The priest would say, “Okay! Your husband is born as a god in the seventh heaven, and he is very happy. And he is waiting for you.”
These prayers, they make you adjusted to the pattern… you feel better.
Meditation is a science. It is not going to help you in adjustment, it is going to help you in transformation. That is why I say these three signs will be there as indications. Silence will come, but not as an adjustment. Silence will come as an inner flowering. Then silence will not be an adjustment with the society, with the family, the world, the business—no! Then silence will be a real harmony with the universe.
Then a deep harmony flowers between you and the totality, then there is silence—but that will come later. First you will get disturbed, first you will become mad—because you are mad, only unaware.
If a technique fits, it will make you aware of everything that you are. Your anarchy, your mind, your madness, everything will come to light. You are just a dark mess. When a technique fits, it is as if suddenly there is light and the whole mess becomes apparent. For the first time you will encounter yourself as you are. You would like to put the light off and go to sleep again—it is fearful. This is the point where the master becomes helpful. He says, “Do not be afraid. This is just the beginning. And do not escape from it.”
At first this light shows you what you are, and if you can go on and on, it transforms you toward what you can be.
Enough for today.